Alright sweetheart, UP. UP. UP. It’s Super Bowl Sunday and Auntie Fah has been awake since dawn like a raccoon with a mission and a moral code. She’s got the coffee on, the nerves janglin’, and the ancestors pacing behind her like, “We’ve waited long enough, babe — get in the game.”
Auntie’s been a Patriots fan for over fifty years, which means she’s survived more heartbreak, more miracles, more bad calls, more snow games, and more quarterback eras than most people survive relationships. She’s seen it all — the glory, the chaos, the rebuilds, the “what the hell was that play call,” the “don’t talk to me right now,” the “I swear I’m calm” lies.
And she’s STILL HERE.
Loyal. Loud. And ethically stubborn.
Because listen — Auntie roots for the team, the players, the history, the heart, the grit, the New England of it all.
But she’s not givin’ one single dime to any billionaire boy on any list.
She’ll scream GO PATS with her whole chest while muttering “screw Kraft” like it’s punctuation.
Duality, babe. She contains multitudes.
And today?
TODAY SHE IS UNHINGED WITH PURPOSE.
She’s got the Pats hoodie on — the old one, the lucky one, the one that’s older than Drake Maye and basically a relic at this point. She’s got the living room arranged in the exact configuration required for optimal New England energy flow. She’s got snacks that didn’t put a penny in the wrong pocket. She’s got her game‑day playlist blasting like a prophecy:
• Bad Bunny for swagger
• Green Day for adrenaline
• Brandi Carlile for emotional regulation
• And the Patriots for the reason her blood pressure is a controlled substance
The Seahawks?
Lovely team. Great people.
But today they are scenery.
Background characters.
NPCs in Auntie’s main quest.
And you — yes, YOU — you better rise to meet this day with the same fire.
Because Auntie’s not just hyping herself up.
She’s hyping YOU up.
She’s lookin’ at you like, “Sweetheart, if I can survive five decades of Patriots football, YOU can survive whatever nonsense your day throws at you.”
So here’s your marching order:
Stand up. Stretch. Hydrate. Brace yourself.
Channel Auntie’s feral New England spirit.
Channel her Irish ancestral thunder.
Channel her “GO PATS, GO BAD BUNNY, GO GREEN DAY, GO BRANDI CARLILE, GO but LESS SEAHAWKS, SCREW KRAFT AND HIS BILLIONAIRE BOYS ON THE LIST” energy.
Today is about loyalty without compromise.
Joy without guilt.
Hype without apology.
Football without creeps.
And a Pats fanbase that refuses to die, refuses to dim, refuses to be normal about any of this.
Auntie Fah is ready.
The ancestors are ready.
New England is ready.
The music is ready.
The snacks are ready.
The nerves are ready.
The chaos is ready.
YOU are ready.
Now go out there and meet this day like you’re running out of the tunnel at Foxboro with fireworks behind you.
GO PATS.
GO ARTISTS WHO MAKE THE WORLD BETTER.
GO YOU.
SCREW KRAFT.
LET’S FECKIN’ DO THIS.
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