I’ll Keep One Eye on the Trumpfuckery so you don’t have to
Alright, babe. Let’s take a breath and look back at the week we just survived - because it was a doozy, a circus, a full‑body workout for the nervous system. The news cycle has been spinning like a drunk figure skater, and half the headlines felt like Mad Libs written by a committee of gremlins.
But you?
You made it.
You’re here.
And Auntie’s proud of you.
THE WEEK IN HEADLINES
• The usual political chaos continued, because apparently the universe thinks we needed more plot twists.
• The courts were busy, the pundits were loud, and the grifters were grifting like their rent was due yesterday.
• Every time you blinked, someone somewhere tried to pull a fast one, rewrite reality, or pretend consequences are optional.
• And yes — the trumpfuckery was at an all‑time high, like a toddler with a marker and no supervision.
Auntie saw it.
Auntie clocked it.
Auntie took notes in the margins like a nun grading papers.
But here’s the thing:
You don’t need to carry all that into your weekend.
THIS WEEKEND IS YOURS. FULL STOP.
Whether you’re gearing up for:
• The Super Bowl
• The Olympics
• The Puppy Bowl
• A nap that lasts three geological eras
• A snack‑based spiritual journey
• Or just a few hours of peace where no one says “breaking news” at you
Auntie Fah is officially giving you permission to unplug your brain from the national nonsense and plug it directly into joy, sports, puppies, or whatever else keeps your soul from shriveling.
AUNTIE’S PROMISE TO YOU
Sweetheart, listen close:
Auntie Fah will keep one eye — the good one — on the trumpfuckery.
You go enjoy your game, your show, your knitting, your snacks, your Olympics, your Puppy Bowl, your couch, your life.
Auntie will monitor the chaos like a hawk with a clipboard and a low tolerance for bullshit.
If something genuinely important happens — and I mean important, not “somebody said something stupid on a livestream” — Auntie will tap you on the shoulder.
But there is only one thing she’ll interrupt your peace for:
ONE BIG BEAUTIFUL OBITUARY.
You know the one.
We don’t need to say it out loud.
Auntie’s not manifesting, she’s just… prepared.
If that headline drops?
Auntie will sprint across the internet like she’s carrying the Olympic torch, waving her arms, yelling “BABE, GET IN HERE, HISTORY’S DOING A BACKFLIP.”
Anything else?
She’ll filter it, sort it, and keep it out of your hair until you’re ready.
SO FOR NOW…
Go.
Enjoy your weekend.
Eat something delicious.
Yell at the TV in a healthy, cathartic way.
Root for your team, your country, your favorite puppy, your favorite athlete, or your favorite couch cushion.
Auntie’s got the watch.
You’ve earned the break.
And if the universe decides to get dramatic?
You’ll hear from her — loud, fast, and with the appropriate level of New England chaos.
Love you, babe. Go live. Auntie’s on duty.
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